Friday, December 29, 2006

And, it is that time of year ...

So, it is that time again. Everyone is doing his or her New Years Eve wrap up, and I am no different. All the things I am thankful for this past year. I look back, and there are so many incredible moments that I have experienced. I feel as if I have grown tremendously as a person, and a writer. I am sure growing as a person has helped me grow as a writer, of course. One of the most memorable things from this past year was my first vacation in four years. Excluding the time I went with {j} to Atlanta for his friend Stacey’s wedding, or the week Tara and I visited LA for business, this was the first time in four years that I was given this opportunity to relax, reflect, and just get away from the incredibly draining experience of struggling in the city. I read three books, I got a great tan, and I spent time with my friend Kerry, and went to bed almost every night by 12am. Which leads me to something else that has become so important. Friendship. I have made so many great, REAL, friends this year. It’s true what they say. It takes about four years to make true friends in New York City, and, on the dot, it happened. People like Kerry and David and Katie, whom I can confide in, and call whenever I need someone. Granted, I have some wonderful friends in my life, and I am so blessed, but many of these friends were there before I moved back to NYC, and have been friends of mine from my college and high school days. They were apart of my life prior. It is a fantastic reward to gain new friends whom I get to learn about from the beginning, and vice versa.
I can’t do a review wrap up without talking about ‘Monday Nights, New Voices.’ This year was really something special. We sold out every single show. And, I can’t talk about the series without mentioning December 4th, which marked one of the evenings I won’t soon forget. I loved celebrating two years with the people who mattered most, the performers and our guest composers and hosts. Plus, in the audience, were some past alumni, friends, and a few ex boyfriends. Gotta love that. This entire year of ‘New Voices’ has really all been a fantastic celebration; even the month I took off for someone else to produce. Why ? Because it made me realize how much I need to be apart of the evening, and how much the evening makes me feel complete. As strange as it may sound, ‘New Voices’ makes me feel as if I am apart of the theatre industry. Producing this series has given me so much joy, and being around such incredible talent …well, I can’t even explain the emotions. I am very proud, and very blessed, and can’t wait for the season ahead. Next up: the NAMT festival. As much as I complain about the struggles of being a writer, it was an honor to be apart of this festival. Actually, being asked to be part of both the NAMT and NYMF festival was really touching. NAMT opened so many doors for us, and we are still hoping for the best with ‘Piece.’ Only time will tell where this show will lead us, but I am hopeful that all the hard work we have put into this show, will lead us where we are meant to be. I strongly believe that everything happens in the time it is meant to happen, and that will hopefully be true for ‘Piece.’
Of course, this year wouldn’t have been complete without all of you, and your beautiful emails. I sure had some ups and downs, and every time I do, each of you takes the journey with me, fighting me to stay positive, and to learn from the experience, instead of taking the easy route of giving up. I still dream of moving far away, and finding a husband, and having children, and just living that life, but in my blood is music, and I would never be completely satisfied without it. So, I thank you all, for writing and keeping me reminded of why I do this. I use to say, I judge success by the amount of people you touch, not by the wealth you experience, and so, in my heart, I truly believe, I am a success. I really do believe that, and I am not just saying that.
There are obviously so many other amazing things that have happened in my life, but as I look back, I can’t help but look forward to the next year. In January, alone, I am in the studio recording with some of the best in the industry (Jonathan Groff, Robb Sapp, Rashad Naylor, Marla Mindelle, Lisa Brescia, Lauren Kennedy, Jarrod Emick and more !!!), and then doing a developmental reading of ‘Piece’ through Jonathan Pollard and The Lark Theatre Group, and THEN, start our THIRD year of ‘Monday Nights, New Voices’ with special guest Host, Lauren Kennedy, and special guest composer David Kirshenbaum. I am also gearing up to do a concert in March in Los Angeles, and I am so excited by that. I mean, that is a lot, and it is only the beginning. My schedule is getting so full, and I get so excited by thinking about what is in store for me, and for my career, and for my future friendships I know I will create. A New Year means a new start, and right now, I can’t wait. I hope you will travel with me, through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. I look forward to having you there. HAPPY NEW YEAR. See you all in ’07. With all the Best, SA

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Clariton ...

I need to NEVER take Clariton before I go to bed. Yes, granted, I have horrible allergies this time of year, and if i didn't take it, I'd be suffering with a stuffed nose, but instead, it is 6:30am, and I am online writing in my journal when I really should be sleeping. Clariton is some strong stuff, I tell you. It always makes my heart pump a little bit faster. It will long be my drug of choice. That being said, I have two meetings, and one of them begins in, oh, two hours, so I should TRY and get myself to sleep. I thought I would just mention some exciting news, that I know SO many of you will be finally excited to hear. The amazing and talented Lisa Brescia and I will FINALLY be recording 'If I Own Today' on January 8th. I am really excited about this. I always get people asking what happened to her version of the song, which was a live version from a previous reading/concert, and has since been removed from the site. So, to finally have a real, true, piano and vocal (which all the songs will be) performance from one of my favorite Broadway darlings, will be a real treat for me, and I know, for many of you, as well. I also told you about the new song I have written called 'One Chance.' Well, Marla Mindelle, who played 26 at the NAMT festival, and who just recently got full buzz after performing as Pocahntas with the cast of 'Beauty and the Beast' at the Gypsy Awards, will be going into the studio to record that song as well. We will be meeting at 1:30 today to run through it. Her belt is CRAZY and so, I am going to make her hit the highest note she can. That is what the song needs. It is hard to explain it. It doesn't have a bridge, and, was really written for someone as a two minute audition song. I think I may actually print up sheet music and sell this one. Why not, right ? I will first need to see the response from all of you people, before I make that decision, but if it's asked for, I just may budge.
Oh, I went to The Duplex the other night. I love meeting 'fans' who turn out to be nice, down to earth people, not stalking me ...lol ...jk .... At least, he hasn't stalked me yet (does a myspace message count ??). Anyhow, I always love The Duplex, and have so much fun there. I went with a nice sized group of friends before heading over to Hero (a gay dance club on Sundays). Back to my point. Tyler, whom I wanted to call Brian, and still do ...so, I am going to call him Brian ...Brian had mentioned that he was actually prepairing to go up and sing 'Never Neverland,' but now that I was there, he didn't want to upset me with music that he had gotten from a transcriber. This being said, I am going to sit down with my agent this week, and see if I can start selling 'Never Neverland' via the website. I know you want it, so let me see what I can do. Ok ? NO PROMISES, but let me just get this battle out of the way already, you know ? You know, I should probablly erase this. Now my mailbox is going to become full. So, let state this ..DON'T EMAIL ME ABOUT SHEET MUSIC ...lol ...when/if it comes available, I will tell you. People think I am crazy about this, but, I get over 20 emails a day, STILL, asking for sheet music, and I have a note on the site saying it is not available. Oh well. Hopefully soon enough.
Other then that, not much more to report on. A few of us went to see 'Dreamgirls' today. Well, yesterday. I liked it. I didn't LOVE it, and I hate to admit it, but I was so impressed by Beyonce. I really was. I was taken back by her deliverence. Now, I do love the song 'Listen.' but it took away from the story, for me. I just ..I don't know ...It felt like Beyonce being Beyonce, and I really hated that, but that being said, her movements were so 'Diana Ross'ish, and really spot on. I loved it. Jennifer Hudsen's voice is just unbelievable, BUT ...well, I will just say, I look forward to seeing her act in another film before judging her performance. I think she will have a great recording career though, and would love to write for her. Duh !!! Of course I would. Eddie Murphy was ...well ...Eddie Murphy, portraying his famous James Brown portrayal on Saturday Night Live. I think the older audience got that more then the younger audience. I thought he was great, but again, I didn't see it as a stand out performance. I sound so negative, dont I ? I honestly enjoyed the movie, and loved the applause after 'And I am Telling You ...' ... My sister is not always the easiest person to convince, but she was won over by her right away, and for someone who doesn't always get the 'break into song' theatre moment, it was nice to see. We were with a big group, and everyone else felt like I did, so maybe there are others out there. Like 4% who aren't sure it deserves the 'best movie' Oscar ???? Ok, I will shut up before you all throw apples and tomatoes at my head. I think that is about it. I am starting to write out my 'year end wrap up' ... that should be up this week. I hope you all had a fantastic holiday, whatever it is you celebrate, and I look forward to sleeping, and having a meeting in less then two hours, now. Yippee !!! BEST, SA

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Awww ...and so it goes ...

So, of course, I am working EVERY NIGHT this week, and this past week, and so you'd think ..Oh, ok, I will make some extra cash, but alas, there is no cash to be made. It is SO slow. I was suppose to work till 12 last night, but got out a little but before 10. A friend came over, and we watched a movie ('The Little Mermaid') and both of us passed out mid-way through. Always fun having a hunky man cuddling you in the morning, even if he is fully clothed. I have work again tonight. Yesterday, I started working on this great new song, and I finished it this morning. My friend Katie, from work, were talking about the hardships of this industry and how she wished there was a song that she could sing at an audition that basically said 'Pick me. I am the one you want. Nobody else is better.' So, that is what I wrote. I am obsessed with it. It has NOTHING to do with love, or relationships, or breakups (See, Dwayne, I have more in me then just heartache), and that is just so inspiring on it owns. LoL. It is extremely musical theatre, in that chipper, 'Thoroughly Modern Millie' way, and will not be put into a show. Just a stand alone cabaret song. I am going to try and record it on the 8th with one of my female pals, if I have some extra time, which I believe I will. Always fun. I am in a weirdly good mood, I don't know why. I had a long talk with a co-worker last night about how much my attitude has changed since I have returned from Vacation, and so that has convinced me to take another vacation in March, probablly to Los Angeles. I will have a few 'performer' friends there at that time, and I think I may do a concert while I am out there. I always hear from 'fans' in LA, so it will be fun to get to meet many of you, plus LA is where it all started for me. Maybe I will go back to one of my old stomping grounds, or maybe I'll try out a new venue. Ok, I am heading into the shower. I will probablly get to go early from work again tonight, so I am going to go to a friends birthday gathering. Looking forward. i HOPE YOUR ALL WELL ..Happy Holidays, once again ..xoxoxo -SA

Friday, December 22, 2006

Happy Holidays

Hey Everyone - I just wanted to wish all of you the happiest of holidays. I will be working every day this weekend, which is fine, because my holiday is over ... lol ...and then on Monday, will be getting together with a few friends, doing some dinner, and seeing Dreamgirls, so that should be fun.
January looks like it is going to be extremely busy for me. On the 8th, as I have mentioned, I will be in the studio with Jonathan Groff (Now), Jarrod Emick (Anymore), Rashad Naylor and Robb Sapp (It's Good to See You) to record songs from 'The Warmth of the Womb.' Then, will be going back into the studio to record 'Stay' with Katie Thompson and Eden Espinosa. If any of you saw the 'New Voices' concert, you all know how amazing the two of them sound together. What many of you don't know about this new show is, I will be writing it with Katie. I will be writing all the songs for the men, and she will be writing all the songs for the woman. It should be an exciting adventure, and I am really looking forward to watching it progress. All those demo's will find there way onto this site within the middle of January. Then on the 10th, 11th and 12th, Tara and I will be doing a developmental reading of 'Piece' being produced by Jonathan Pollard (I Love You, Your Perfect, Now Change; All Shook Up). This is a way for us to meet with four amazing actresses as well as Daniela Toppel from The Lark Theatre, and have them tell us what is missing from our script, and get it to the best place possible. There will be no singing. We will be working with four actresses we have never worked with before, so we can get a completely fresh idea. If we enjoy working with Jonathan, and vice versa, we will be heading into a workshop, mid March, I believe. As many of you know, I have been a little sad by the fact that 'Piece' will be going on hiatus, but if Jonathan picks up the rights, we will be moving right ahead, and I look forward to that hopefully happening. Then, 'New Voices' is back on the 22nd. We will be having a FANTASTIC evening. I have already lined up the talent, and our incredible composer, and now I am waiting on our host. I should have a full cast list in a week. So, all in all, it is looking to be a very busy year for me, and I am hoping this year brings about the form of success that I have wanted and worked for. I have reached my own level of success, which has been granted by all the adoring people who have written and I have met at various events. Now, I am ready for the next level, which is, leaving behind the bar, and watching my passion take over my life.
I will write my 'NEW YEAR' wrap up next week, but until then ..HAPPY HOLIDAYS ....Stay warm, healthy, and beautiful - SA

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Boredom ...

Boredom leads to misery ..usually ..but not yesterday ...I had a full day ...so much to do ... but in the mist of it all, I was able to take some time for myself and sit down at the piano and play, which is always fun for me ... .and while I was there, I took my new iPod (thanks Mom !!!) and recorded myself. Always a fun time, I tell you !!! Not the best sound, but it's something ... So, if you go to my MySpace page (www.myspace.com/scottalanmusic), you will hear four songs ... Two that you have never heard before and two that you haven't. One is called 'In Her Life' and it was cut from 'Piece' back in the day ...and as you can tell from the recording, it was the last song I did of the evening ...oy !!! My voice just lost it by the end ...but hey, it's all fun, right ? The song 'Goodnight' went on to replace it ... good choice, right ? I mean, I do like this song, and do want to give it to one of those Broadway belter woman to sing down the line, but for now ..it is what it is ..a cut song from a show that has no future as of now...GOOD TIMES !!!! The second songs is called 'Now' and is from my new musical 'The Warmth of the Womb.' I will be going into the studio with Jonathan Groff, from Broadway's Spring Awakening, on January 8th to record the song, but this is a glimpse of the 'pre-production' if you would. He is going to do a fantastic job of the song, and I think it's going to be a favorite of yours. The other two are 'Anymore' and 'Magic.' I always talk about my love of the song 'Magic' and I find it more relevent today then I have in some time now, as 'someone' has been on my mind lately, and this song was one of there favorites, and it reminds me of them, even though I hardly even knew them...yet. You ever feel like you may have let something go, and want more then anything to reach out to to stop that from happening completely, but your to scared of a second rejection from them ? On the chance they are reading this, and know who they are ...thoughts ?!?!? Other then that, nothing more to talk about. Good times ... great oldies ...HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!! xoxo -SA

Monday, December 18, 2006

Ok ...

My last post seemed to anger a lot of you, who thought that I was ungrateful for your constant support. I am the furthest thing from. I have decided to take the post down. I am sorry for those of you who were hurt, and took it personally. Best, SA

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Warmth of the Womb

January 8th, I will be going into the recording studio with some of the 'boyz' to record from Warmth of the Womb. WOTW is a song cycle about gay life, gay relationships, and gay culture. It will allow me to not only write new music, but take some cut songs from Piece, like 'Magic, and songs from 'Detour, like 'Kiss the Air,' and tell different storys. Both songs were written from a gay perspective. It was always humerous that Magic made it's way into 'Piece,' and a part of me was always grateful when it was cut awhile back, because I knew what it meant to me. In addition, I will be recording 'It's Good to See You,' 'Anymore' a new song called 'Now' and a few others with some fantastic friends, and talent. I look forward to premiering the new arrangments of these songs, to fit into theatre format, and I look forward to getting this show up on its feet. It looks like I will be doing a concert version of this show in the coming months. Since this show is basically a concert in itself, with staging and design aside, it will be a way to see how the show runs. I am putting my own money in as of now, so I really hope this show touches you. I hope your all well, and Happy Hannukah to all my Jewish friends ...xoxo -SA

Friday, December 15, 2006

It's starting to look a lot like Christmas ...

Christmas is said to be a very depressing time ... Though many things have dissapointed me this time of year, I have tried to not let them get me down. I have been very lucky to have a wonderful agent who has been getting me fantastic tickets to some of todays best shows, and it has allowed me to spend a lot of time with people I love to be around. I was also extremely happy to spend time with my buddy Jesse last night, who was in town for the night, taking the night off from Clay Aiken's tour. Jesse was the MD for 'New Voices' prior to Barbara, but he got to big for us ...lol ... We drank too much, and I passed out before I knew it. They should have a law against drinking more then two martini's. Ohhhhh ... I saw Spring Awakening tonight. The cast was incredible, and the music had such beauty to it. The show has been in development for around seven years now. 'Piece' is going into its fourth. Sadly, 'Piece' looks like it is going to be taking a very long vacation and may be shelved after January. A major regional theatre, whom we had put all our eggs in one basket for, passed unexpectadly yesterday (there was a reason for the martini's). Then, I was told today that Xanadu, a new musical based on the cult film, has made plans to go to the Helen Hayes Theatre on Broadway, and Tara, my writing partner, is a producer on that, and will be concentrating her time, energy and money on getting the show to the Broadway stage for a May opening. After January, in which we will be doing a development of Piece with Daniella Topel of The Lark Theatre, and producer Jonathan Pollard, we will be putting 'Piece' on hold, and I will make a major decision ...staying in New York and continue working on theatre and on my new show 'The Warmth of the Womb' (which I WILL be doing demo recordings of in January, no matter what), or moving somewhere new, and starting over, in a different city, and with a new career, whatever that may be. I feel as so many of you have read this blog for over four years now, seeing the ups and downs of a career that hasn't really gone anyplace, BUT, for some incredible chance, has reached so many of you. I do feel blessed. I was even on a date about two months ago with someone who used my 'music' to get through his last breakup (that should have been a very smart indication that he was attracted to the talent, and not to me). Yet, I am thrown into a strange place, because I LOVE writing, but, it hasn't been paying the bills for some time now, and I am finding myself more depressed then ever, and wanting to live outside the city, meet someone special, and raise a family. I know I could give more if I was seeing results, but I don't know if I can give anymore now, since I'm not. I really don't know. I am going to make the decision sometime after our development of 'Piece' in January. I do not want anyone to think I am giving up ... because I love writing, and I was always write ..I will probablly always keep my website up and post new music, but, it may just be a hobby instead of a career, and that is what I need to decide upon now. I hope you are all well, and keeping warm ...only the best, SA

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Why, Oh Why ?!?!?

I have made a post like this before, and will do it again, because it angers me. Why does someone invite you to an event, and then sit on there cell phone the entire day ? Do they think that you enjoy sitting in the cab/on the side of the theatre/ in your theatre seat, hearing them talk to someone else ? It is a horrible and rude way to involve yourself in todays society, and I wish it would all just stop, NOW !!! If your with someone, give your attention to them, and only them. Don't take out your cell phone and check your texts, or call someone in THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION with the person you're with. Argggg ... It is just the way people live today, and it needs to change. I know it wont, sadly, but I really just wish that it would/could.
Not much more to post then that. LoL. I wish I had some big news on 'Piece,' but right now, it is a waiting game. We had a mtg this morning, and a few last week, and we are doing some 'developments' on the show with interested parties, but as far as a regional theatre, we wait in anticipation. There have been major discussions, but that is where it has all been left off. No official offers, and no signatures on contracts. Until then, it is all just talk, and talk should not be posted until it is official.
I hope you are all doing well. Our next 'New Voices' will be on January 22nd, and I will be making phone calls and sending out emails (alone), either tomorrow or Thursday. I have tons of people to choice from this month, which makes it easier on me. Always fun .... xoxo -SA

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Crazy, unexpected, wild and Perfect !!!

'Monday Nights, New Voices' went off without a hitch the other evening, minus the fact that I pulled out my back in the middle of the last song. Literally. I was singing at the piano, and must have been a little emotional (I'm a gay Jew from Long Island, what else would I be ?), and when I hit my first high note, I felt this sensation in my back, and my entire face went numb. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even finish the song, but I did, then left the stage, and broke down backstage. Thankfully, someone had some pills to help the pain, and within twenty minutes, I was able to go thank the audience for coming ... the show was AMAZING. Truly amazing, and I thank the audience for coming out, and apologize to those of you whom were unable to get in. It was so beautiful to walk downstairs and notice we had a whole group of people on the waiting list, but thankfully, many of you did get in, and we can all thank those who made reservations and didn't show up ... Go them !!! I really don't have any highlights, because they are all highlights to me. I put up a photo from the show of the full cast on my MySpace page (minus two or three performers who were running late/on a dinner break). I think my cast had a blast, mingling and drinking, and just being around one another and meeting new people. It's always an interesting putting together 'stars' with 'unknowns' in a small space like The Duplex, because everyone becomes the same, and nobody is any better then anyone else at that moment, and that is how the night felt. I will say, though, Nikki Renee Daniels and Sara Schmidt singing 'In His Eyes' was BRILLIANT ... I think I just like hearing females sing ...lol ...Katie Thompson and Eden Espinosa singing 'Stay' ...Incredible ..Just loved it !!!! Ok, that is all for now ..again, I am going to take a week off and then gear up for the January MNNV ... Exciting ...I am also debating on putting together another showcase of my music in January as well, since I have been writing a lot of new songs for my new show 'The Warmth of the Womb' ..and I seemed to have gotten a nice reception from the song I presented at the show that Robb Sapp and Rashad Naylor dueted (though, yes, it was strange having my ex in the audience, whom the show is semi about ...well, I TOOK from our experiences, as well as other experiences with others along the way) ... ok, thats all for now ...always the best ..-SA

Monday, December 04, 2006

So, What can you expect tonight ? (feel free to post this over the internet)

Sooooooooo, many people keep asking, 'So, who is singing what tonight ?' ... Well, at tonights second year anniversary of 'Monday Nights, New Voices,' you can see a duet between Marla Mindelle and Max von Essen of a new song 'Mile after Mile' by composer Brad Alexander; A duet by Lauren Thomas and Eden Espinosa of the song 'More is More is More,' from Andrew Lippa's new show Asphalt Beach. Lippa will accompany the performers; Robb Sapp and Rashad Naylor dueting on my song 'It's Good to See You' from my new musical 'Warmth of the Womb'; Todd Buonopane singing 'King for awhile' from Jeff Marx and Robert Lopez's 'Kermit, Prince of Denmark' with Kathryn Holtkamp and Amy Barker backing him; Jenna Leigh Green singing 'No Apparent Reason' from Kerrigan and Lowdermilks 'Room to Grow.' Lowdermilk will accompany. Nikki Renee Daniels and Sara Schmidt dueting on 'In His Eyes' from Jekylll and Hyde (ITS AMAZING); Katie Thompson and Eden Espinosa dueting on Katie's song 'Stay' that will make you cry .... AND SO MUCH MORE !!!!

Again, here is our entire cast list: Those scheduled to appear include Dance of the Vampires' Max von Essen, Wicked's Espinosa, Dani Marcus, Emily McNamara, Elissa Goldstein, Wicked's Marty Thomas, Les Miserables' Nikki Renee Daniels, Ritchie Portela, Marla Mindelle, Hairspray's Rashad Naylor, Christy Faber, Wicked’s Robb Sapp, Les Miserables' Rena Strober, Lauren Thomas, Katie Thompson, Mick Bond, Wicked’s Jenna Leigh Green, Charly Seamon, Kate Pazakis, In My Life's Courtney Balan, Alysha Umphress, Spelling Bee's Todd Buonopane, Jersey Boys' Sara Schmidt, Emily Drennan, Tally Sessions, T.J. Mannix, Aléna Watters, Ellyn Marsh, Joe Hutcheson and composers Andrew Lippa, Barbara Anselmi, David Austin Brian Lowdermilk and Kait Kerrigan, Scott Alan, Ryan Scott Oliver and Brad Alexander. Showtime is 7pm.
I am really excited about this show tonight, and hope all of you will all attend ...reservations are recommended ... just follow this link: http://theduplex.com/test/webcalendar/reservations.php?cal_id=2173 ... I hope to see you all there ... best, SA

Sunday, December 03, 2006

A Friendly 'New Voices' Reminder

Hey Everyone -
Just a small reminder that tomorrow night (Monday, December 4th) is our celebration of two years of 'Monday Nights, New Voices' and I would love all of you whom are available to come and celebrate with us. You can either just show up, or make a reservation online (it takes two seconds and assures you a table). Just click this link and fill out the information. No credit card needed: http://theduplex.com/test/webcalendar/reservations.php?cal_id=2173 ... I hope to see you all tomorrow night, as we head into our thrid year of honoring new talent.

Best, SA


Some of today's hottest Broadway stars and Newest Voices have joined the December 4th edition of "Monday Nights, New Voices," which will celebrate the second year anniversary of the acclaimed series and will be hosted by The Pajama Game's Jen Cody. Produced by composer Scott Alan, The celebrated evening will find "New Voices" alumni teaming up on duets with past
hosts, and other past alumni.

In addition, past guest composers will be featured and will accompany the performers in this one-night-only event at the Duplex Cabaret Theatre.

Those scheduled to appear include Dance of the Vampires' Max von Essen, Wicked's Espinosa, Dani Marcus, Emily McNamara, Elissa Goldstein, Wicked's Marty Thomas, Les Miserables' Nikki Renee Daniels, Ritchie Portela, Marla Mindelle, Hairspray's Rashad Naylor, Christy Faber, Wicked’s Robb Sapp, Les Miserables' Rena Strober, Lauren Thomas, Katie Thompson, Mick Bond, Wicked’s Jenna Leigh Green, Kate Pazakis, In My Life's Courtney Balan, Alysha Umphress, Spelling Bee's Todd Buonopane, Jersey Boys' Sara Schmidt, Emily Drennan, Tally Sessions, T.J. Mannix, Aléna Watters, Ellyn Marsh, Joe Hutcheson and composers Andrew Lippa, Barbara Anselmi, David Austin Brian Lowdermilk and Kait Kerrigan, Scott Alan, Ryan Scott Oliver and Brad Alexander. Showtime is 7pm.

The Duplex Cabaret Theatre is located in Manhattan at 61 Christopher Street. There is a $12 cover charge and a two-drink minimum. Call (212) 255-5438 for reservations. Visit www.theduplex.com for more information.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

The Way You Look Tonight

It is 3:30 am and I can't sleep. I stayed home tonight so I could try and get rid of this cold, but here I am, 3:30 in the morning, and I have so much on my mind. Tara and I had a meeting tonight with some producers, and I left slightly depressed. I know musicals take years to develop, and I know, the reality is, 'Piece' has some miles to go, but I am ready for the next step, and though there is/was incredible interest from the NAMT festival, I feel as if we have stalled in some places, and I am extremely aggitated by it all. I go back and forth on if this field is right for me. I enjoy knowing right away when things will happen, and I have given the better part of three years to this project, only to still be bartending at some horrible place, where I make less money then I care to admit, working five to six days a week, just to survive. I can't call in sick, cause we don't have any bartender to cover shifts, so I haven't been able to heal. I am frustrated, depressed, sad, upset, horrified, mortified, terribly insecure and worse, lonely. I feel the need to be held by someone, but I don't know who that somebody is. I really dont. Or maybe I do, and I just don't want to admit it. I wish I had the answers to everything. It would all be so simple to move to the next step of my life, with some indication of how things might go, but I dont. It always astounds me that people will email me stating that I have some how enritched there lives through my music. Yet, when I hear my music, I hear saddness, because I write like a journal. I don't understand how my music helps them/you mend a broken heart, when I don't know how to mend my own. I don't know how my music helps you survive a lose, when I have yet to discover this myself. So, here I lay, in my bed, without any answers, alone, and scared that the career I have given my heart to, may not be ready for me for another few years. -SA