Tuesday, November 22, 2005

In a day ...Onto night ...

I love music. I just wanted to say that. I love everything that comes on random on my iTunes *right now its Sheryl Crows 'Wallflower'*. I get emails daily from so many of you whom state my music does something for you during the day. Many of you say you listen to the clips on the site daily, that you find inspiration from them. I want you to know how much your words mean to me and how much I relate about how music can bring out something within you. I can't really explain it. A friend asked me the other night how long it would take for me to feel successful, and I told her I felt like I was a success. Your letters make me feel as if I have made an impact. I can't really explain it. I often feel just like each of you do. I don't know where my life is going. I don't have any answers. I am constantly lost, and wondering when everything will just begin. Things seem easier for those around me, always. Sometimes I wonder if I should be here, writing, when my love of singing is so far pushed aside. Granted, I could be writing and singing, and doing what it was I always did, and a part of me thinks I may do that again. Yet, am I too old for that ? Can I really start booking gigs, like I did in Los Angeles. Any thoughts ? Would anybody actually come out to see JUST ME perform with my guitar and piano at low class bars singing songs that AREN'T exactly 'Home' and 'Never NeverLand' ? I think thats going to be my New Years Resolution this year ...Get together a small band and start playing out, for no other reason then that I love it and miss it ... I hope you will join me ....yes ? Gnight and pleasent dreams to you all ... -SA

Sunday, November 20, 2005

New apartment ...

I am on the move again. Not until Janaury 1st, but the search for an apartment has begun. I am either looking for a studio for myself and my pup (would be ideal ...), or looking for a two bedroom, living with someone else. A promising situation seems to have fallen through, so its on the look again. Its hard to find a place beginning January 1st as of now, as most of the landlords are trying to get there Decemeber 1st apartments set in stone, so we shall see. I wish I could just find my own place, and just settle in already. Ever since Jason and I broke up, its been a constant form of subleasing, and so I am ready to just find my place already. Time will tell. Time will tell. Nothing more exciting to talk about now. Had a meeting with the 'Piece' crew the other day, and we are starting to rework the show based upon the comments from the workshop, so I am looking forward to that development. This is a long process, and I just hope, it is worth it in the end. In addition, I believe we will be doing another MNNV on December 12th, though I am still working the details. Hopefully some of you will be in town. I hope this finds you all well. xo -SA

Friday, November 18, 2005

The Geek

So, last night, at 11:59 pm, Doug and I set out to see, what else, but 'Harry Potter.' First, though names wont be mentioned, it was great to see some theatre folk out and about, with, oh yes, lightening boltz on there forheads. True enough, I think many were auditioned for a hopeful upcoming HP musical, but alas, all they got last night was a long evening, a very early morning, and a great movie. There is good reason the new movie is PG-13. There was a lot of minor thrills last night, and it wasn't proper for a lot of young tots. Also, I loved it. I have never missed a night before showing, and I am not ashamed to say it. Heck, the other night, I told all of you to get the new Carrie Underwood cd, Please, I have no shame at all. AT ALL. Even now, as I write, I am watching Mariah Carey on Ellen. She isn't looking so good, but I am not going to say anything, but I guess I just did it. Oh well. I hope this finds everyone well.

Thursday, November 17, 2005


It is officially the weather of Winter ...I woke this morning, walked outside with the pup (who just got a bath), and realized that the shorts I was able to wear yesterday weren't proper to be wearing today. This weather is what makes people sick. It was a 30 degree jump downwards from yesterday, and I am not happy. Who can I talk to about this ?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Would I fly ?

First, before I begin, let me say, I love Carrie Underwoods cd ....such a total side note, but for those who thought it would possibly be cheesy, trust me, whomever did the writing, did such a fantastic job ..its probablly one of the most beautifully written cd's, a country cd, and I am just as surprised as you are .... ok ...moving right along ...I saw {j} tonight ..for those of you new to this site, {j} is my ex boyfriend, of almost a year (as of November 30th ..Oh, how we hold on to dates in our minds). I went to his apartment to pick up some belongings I had left behind, as we had lived together. I didn't know how I would react to seeing him, or being back in that apartment. The moment I got into the elevetor, I thought, "wow, this is smaller then I remember." {j} and I hadn't seen each other, or spoken for that matter, since May ...and so I thought it may be strange, in a slightly uncomfortable way. I have no ill feelings, and I know he doesn't either, but you never know what time can do. Yet, we sat, talked, had two glasses of wine, for about 30 minutes, and then I was on my way. The moment I got onto the train home, I lost it. I opened up the bag of old stuff he assembled, and inside was photos: photos of my pup Billy when I first got him, photos of my ex Trent whom I moved to NY with, photos of me in high school, in college, in Los Angeles ...Basically, tons of memories of my life ...added up with seeing {j}, I was a little emotional, and just started crying ...I needed it, and knew I did ...It felt like a strange goodbye to many years of my life ..I dont know how to explain it, but it felt like I was moving away from something that once was so great, but now, is nothing more then photos in a bag:

Photos, I thought I lost
But you held onto
Just some photos, that measured my life
I would never had remembered
But now I can't forget
For these photos came home
for the first time in years
the photos made there way back home
with me, alone
But alone doesn't feel so lonely anymore.

After I got off the subway, I called Doug. Doug was on my mind. So, I called Doug.



Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Life, it is a changing

Hey everyone. I hope this finds you all well ..I am really loving my new computer ...I have had a pc for forever, and further more, I have always had hand me downs from friends and family, and this is my official first computer ever ....(can you believe that ??) and I am loving it ... I also love having a laptop, and being able to work outside of my home. I am getting the Finale program this week and working with Barbara, who is going to show me how to work it. I can't wait to start taking care of my music, and really taking control and being a little more hands on, and not having to depend on others. Barbara is excited !!! LoL.
Other then that, we have been having some incredible meetings that a week ago, I never imagined I would be having. Its funny, because the moment somebody takes wind of the fact your having a meeting with "so-and-so" they want to have a meeting with you. We are so over welmed by peoples responses, and just need to weed through those who really care, and those who want to jump on a bandwagon. It's wonderful having the meetings with Tara, and not being by myself. I get nervous. It was all happening so fast, and it's still moving. She speaks very well when she is nervous, and those who know me, know that I say "fuck" a lot, or seem drunk or drugged out when I am nervous because I rambel a lot, so for the most part, I let her talk. LoL.
Tonight I am going to the opening of 'Sodom,' and then tomorrow night I am seeing 'Jersey Boys.' I can't wait. Then, Thursday, I am back to being a bartender full time. Ya know, I am NOT upset about it anymore. There is such great movement happening, and where once I was embarrassed, I am sort of refreshed. I know that money wont be streaming in anytime soon, even with things taking place (it's the reality of this business), but the knowing that by next September, I should be able to concentrate fully on a "hopeful" staged production of 'Piece' (I am not saying it WILL happen, just saying the hopes), it excites me, and so bartending and making my rent, it doesn't upset me. It only inspires me further. It's about time I found myself smiling for all the right reasons, right ?
That is all for now. Glad to hear from all of you that your doing well. I love when you catch me up on your lives. I save ALL of your emails and always wonder how some of you are doing, so thank you. I hope this finds you all happy and healthy. xo -SA

Saturday, November 05, 2005

The swirl of life ...

Life can change so fast, especially in this business. My life changed yesterday, on a dime. Within an hour everything seemed to feel like I was no longer living in my life any longer. I was around excitment for hours, and the moment I walked away, leaving friends behind, and heading towards my home, I panicked: "What if I am not good enough." "What if my talent is a fluke, and I can't write another show after this one." I felt trapped, and insecure, and yet revolving around me, was these amazing accomplishments, and hopes for the near future. Of course, I am unable to share anything with the public (cause all that surrounds the excitment is words), but it's been awhile since I cried, and recognized the tears were actually tears of joy, actual joy and excitment.
I am writing this post on my new gift, my iBook G4, and love knowing that within this year, everything I have worked for in my life (yes, I am young, but I have worked hard, and anyone saying different would be denying me that), could actual see a reality. Then again, as quickly as words are spoken, they are often taken away. The chance that the excitment may never see the sun, is always possible.
On that note, I can't believe I just did a NY workshop, and we got three standing ovations, and more importantly, I looked over at my cousin Ricky (Ian Gordon) yesterday, and he looked so proud. I am his biggest fan, and so that meant a lot to me, seeing him smile at my work.
It has just been a ride thus far. Of course, though, I will be bartending this evening, so nothing has really changed yet ...lol ...but I feel good going into work today. I feel confident in my life. Word will be quiet for some time, but the energy is as loud as possible.
I hope this finds you all well. With Love, SA

Friday, November 04, 2005

Moving on ...Adriane Lenox ...Piece

First, let us all keep Adriane Lenox in our prayers. She has been hospitalized with a case of Pnemonia and a high fever, and our thoughts are with her for a speedy recovery. She was hospitalized last night, and is so dedicated to her craft that she called Schele, our director, to let her know she would come to the performance with an IV in her arm if need be. We just want her to get well. Erica, our amazing assistant stagemanager, went on for today, and will go on for her tomorrow as well. She did a great job and the show ran beautifully this evening. Another standing ovation, and a wonderful performance.

After deleting several posts by accident on my blog and spending 30 minutes trying to get them back, I have decided to move on ...lol ...Reality is, that in a few weeks, all the old posts will come down, as I gear up for a fresh start this coming '06, so it wasn't worth my efforts.

Piece has it's last reading tomorrow. I am sad to see this experience go, but I know that more is around the corner. It will be slow news for the next two months or so, but hopefully, soon enough, I will have something to share. Until then ...I hope this finds you all well ..xo -SA